Finding Purpose in Life
How often do we ask ourselves "What is my purpose in this life?". How often do we feel bad or unsatisfied with ourselves for having achieved nothing significant yet? How often do we cry buckets of tears for we think we don't have purpose in life? How often does grim reaper visits our thoughts and would say it's better off dead than living the harsh reality of life?
These were the thoughts that lingered my mind realizing that life isn't that easy at adulthood that I used to think of.
People say it's the Quarter Life crisis. Is it really true?
I, once experienced this event in my life. Why is my life so repetitive? Why don't I get enough salary to compensate for my needs and wants despite working in multi company? Why am I stuck in a company that I don't think I am growing anymore? Why is my career so stagnant? Why do I always fail in a relationship? Why can't I find the right person despite dating people who I find attractive? Why am I so coward to show my affection towards other people? Why can't I contribute at least a little to my family? Why do I feel unaccomplished despite of me being an engineer? - a lot of whys. Whys that instead of finding answers, I would always end up to tears not because I was lazy to find answers but because I couldn't find the exact answers.
Despite being young at twenty three, I felt that I didn't deserve to experience such things and felt I was too young for that. However, human as we are we have to experience that so-called "Quarter Life Crisis" - a prerequisite of adulthood.
"Do you think we have to experience our own death in our lives?" Exactly. Your answer to that question also translates to whether we do have to experience the period in our lives when we question all the things that is happening to us and question the things of what or who we would be in the future, and worse, even question our own existence.
Unlike death, fortunately, we can do things to combat that so called crisis and find true purpose of our existence.
"Know yourself"
The very obstacle that hinders us from answering those questions is our failure to know ourselves. Having a license to practice Engineering, in my case, is not who I really am. The titles before or after our names do not define we really are, but merely our social identity. Unless you think that being a doctor is solely what defines who you are, then that's alright. However, the thing is we need to find our personal identity.
of what defines us based on what makes us satisfied and accomplished, based on our moral values
of what defines our moral values regardless of whether the society says it's illegal or not or the church condemn it or not.
of what defines us based on our own and inner thoughts.
In simple words, define yourself on who you think you are regardless of the biases of other people's opinion. Advices from friends, family and medical professionals can greatly help a lot but it is always you who could judge yourself whether you are your genuine self or just a reflection of what the society tells you to do. It is effective to isolate yourself first from the influences of the world when knowing yourself. Embrace yourself with nature. Yes, soul searching is a goof way to many of the young adults in this generation. Travel and get our of your comfort zone. It is in the least expected circumstances that you truly find answers about yourself.
"Set goals"
Fully knowing yourself enlightens you of what you really want to pursue and eventually knowing your purpose in life. When I was in college, my top goals in life were to finish my degree without a failing grade, then to pass the licensure exam on my first take, then to land a job in a well-known company as a Software Engineer, work in the country's premier business district and to learn a new language. True enough all those goals of mine were accomplished. I even traveled the country and abroad every year. In general I had a blessed years and still have. However, despite of all those accomplishments and opportunities, I still couldn't find my true purpose in life. Being an engineer was surely one of the greatest goals when I was a student but it came to a point when I realized that an "Engineer" before my name doesn't really meant my purpose in life.
How do we really know if those goals we set would eventually lead us to finding our purpose?That is after you have realized your goal and feel permanently accomplished and satisfied.
"Realize your goals"
Don't think that I didn't feel accomplished after I achieved those goals I had. I did. But that feeling was temporary and faded so soon. As to what will make me feel accomplished, I do not know yet. At twenty six and had accomplished another goal of mine, to be able to pursue my career in Japan, things haven't changed still. I am still looking for that one purpose that would make me feel completely and permanently accomplished and satisfied.
But let us not pressure ourselves in doing so too soon. Usually it takes time for us to realize what we want in life, sometimes it is already there laid before our very own eyes but we just have to realize it.
To those people who haven't found their purpose in life just yet, like me, let's keep on setting and achieving our goals. Don't be afraid to fail. Eventually, that one thing we have been looking for will soon be ours.
As what had God promised us through Jeremiah 29:11,
"For I know the plan I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
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Great journal and I felt that I am in a similar situation.
ReplyDeleteYes, people in our age ask ourselves those questions, and usually end up not knowing exact answer(s) for it. But judging from what people I've met recently said, there's no such a thing. I mean, there is no answer to that kind of question, they said. And one of them even said, "there's no reason for you to live." He continued, "But there's roles for your life", and this saying is swirling around in my head these days, it seems very deep and true.
I believe that knowing about myself is one way to attack these questions, too. I do meditation for that, and I'm trying to do it as often as every day. I found a good yoga class to do it for free, twice a week though it's very far and you need a car to get there. Anyways, that's something I do. I try not to pressure myself with the social title people tag me like you do. We should be free from those things for sure, because every day you are different from your old self in yesterday.
And lastly, one way of thinking I want to introduce to you. You never feel 100% accomplished. Since you are insecure, worried, and not sure about the future, you struggle, and that is the moment when you shine very bright. I don't mean this is the very right way of thinking, though. Thanks for your words!
I do not agree that there is no reason for us to live. You're roles in life determine your purpose. But for sure, we all feel that there is this one thing that we don't know yet we crave for answer. I respect your opinion though, I think this is a good topic to talk about and to debate about. hahaha see you and let's talk about this soon.
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